“Help I’m Alive”

“….beating like a hammer..”

This last year has been a major year of change. Uncertainity. Confusion. Passion. Inspiration. Love. Exploration. This makes a crazy cocktail in which I would definitely call it ORRiginal.

I’ve never been one to hold on to what I know because of being scared to discover what I don’t. It’s more of continuing to let go of what I do know to continue seeking for more growth and discovery. This year when I was on tour with Revolt Revolt a weird reflection came across me as we drove the I5, especially as I saw the skyscrappers of L.A.. A city I once knew as my city for a brief moment in time. The time I left was the first time I learned to let go of something not because I had to but because of choice.

While living there it was just  a matter of days I analyzed my life at the moment and the future. Did I want to continue pursuing a career and lifestyle in which I was dependent upon others or did I want to make my own path? I remember the moment I sitting on the Marine beach outside of San Diego and it felt as if the waves helped me clear my head. That night I decided I was going to discontinue pursuing fashion and  move back to Boise. I had no idea what I was going to do but I realized I wanted to find something I was passionate about and dedicate my life to it. Listening and reading from people that are considered succesful the underlying message was “find something you are passionate about and figure out how you can pursue making it your lifestyle”. I didn’t really understand what this meant and how to accomplish this until I observed my fellow friends of my apartment complex involved the music industry. That night at the beach I realized who I was and what was most important to me but knew I needed to discover my passion a little more. Music has always a big part in my family but different than most people. We weren’t raised playing instruments but our appreciation found us analyzing sound and performance. My older brothers would especially try to school me on rock music at a very young age. I remember them playing vinyls and making me guess the artist and song title. As I grew older I found myself making friends with older people mostly intrigued by the music they were listening to and listening to what they had to say about their favorites. My discovery with music was a maze of purpose. I became more aware of my in-depth interest in music but for someone that doesn’t play music what could I offer? I’ve spent the majority of my years in high school and my first year in college narrowing my studies to business and marketing. After I discovered student radio at Boise State I realized I could apply my knowledge and experience to help artists instead of worrying about missing an opportunity to become one.

The moment the Revolt Revolt van drove around the diameters of downtown L.A., I felt a sense of accomplishment in myself. I remember the last time I was there driving on the road looking at those buildings I was driving back to my home in L.A. from the late night I had on the Marine beach. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do or even an idea what I wanted to do. I just believed in myself that I would figure it out and that I just needed to be true to myself and others in order to discover what I was searching for. As the skyscrappers became a a picture in the rearview mirror of the tour van, I realized I had accomplished something that no one but myself can be rewarded.


Update: 6.12.10

The moment I wrote this blog was the night before I left for Vancouver, B.C..  The entire week I was listening to Metric “Help, I’m Alive” accoustic and original, even while writing this blog I had the song on repeat.  There are a few songs I connect with and this one stood out like a black diamond.   A few weeks ago I found a short documentary with the singer Emily and it made me appreciate the song even more.

On my trip I picked up the weekly in Vancouver called The Georgia Straight and read a review on the band that was quite shocking to me especially with the band being from Canada.  The article pointed out all the creative talents with individuals in the band and at the end stated “In fact, the only thing we don’t seem to know is a single person who professes to being a Metric fan. Go figure.”

leaving Vancouver, B.C.

Well here I go:

Dear The Georgia Straight,

I am declaring myself as a Metric fan.  Hope you find this the next time you research the band and  put it in your review.


ORRiginal Metric Fan


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